Every once in a while someone asks me about T3h Shred Boiz. How are they so grim? How are they so kvlt? Are their faces naturally white? The answer to these questions could quite possibly drive you insane, so they won't be addressed here.

I guess T3h Shred Boiz really got started when Satan was sitting around thinking up evil shit to do. Satan thought and thought for years, and then one day he conceived his most diabolical and destructive plan ever: T3h Shred Boiz. He would assemble the grimmest and tr00est band that the world has ever seen. With this band He would pollute the world with the most vile and necro music possible.

Satan could not play any instruments though, so he couldn't join the band, but what he could do was find people necro enough to do the dirty deed. After searching through the blackest ov forests and coldest ov winters Satan discovered an owl whose very look would out-grim an abortion at a wedding. Satan realized this was the first ingredient to T3h Shred Boiz, so He transformed the owl into a human being, if you can indeed call this beast a human. Satan named the creature Gr1m Shadow.

On one ov the coldest and kvltest winters ever to be seen on earth Gr1m Shadow became so grim that he cut open his stomach and ripped out his entire large intestine. Satan saw this and was pleased but then realized Gr1m Shadow had died, so Satan was like "zomg, wtf..." Satan resurrected Gr1m Shadow and gave him the curse of eternal life. This is not all Satan did on that day. Satan force-fed Gr1m Shadow his own intestine which of course triggered Gr1m Shadow to grimly vomit all over the grim and necro ground. From this vomit rose Lord Vlad Drac, the other member of T3h Shred Boiz.

It was complete. Armageddon was near. T3h Shred Boiz were born. T3h Shred Boiz never practice their instruments, never tune their instruments, and never take a swim less than an hour before eating.

The rest is history. T3h Shred Boiz continue to make the most necro music imaginable to this day. Read more on Last.fm. User-contributed text is available under the Creative Commons By-SA License; additional terms may apply.